Kate & Spence On The Fly

It was all terribly hush-hush in those early crazy Hollywood days when Spencer Tracy was dragging around two rather cumbersome giant gorillas on his talented back; alcoholism and a stiff short right hand aimed at female jaws his least agreeable trait..... Ms. Hepburn Yankee stoic blood always boiling, yet enduring more in the manner of the classic Russian widow’s submission to fated destiny. Mothered the old cad and weathered many booze induced nightmares in her sojourn to his dark side. Kate was as all who knew her agreed an outdoors person, horses, fishing you name it she was game and fine company if you were female! ( Tracy a rare exception.). This tale was related to me by my Grand Uncle Botar my Father’s, Mother’s, Sister’s husband. A working San Francisco Stockyard/Slaughter House Wrangler, horse breaker, fair vet, all around working Cowboy from 1885 until his death in the 1970s. He was one of my main mentors in the ways of real live fire breathing adventurers as he often described himself. A real character who taught me words that till this day can’t be used in mixed company. Needless to say I worshiped and loved the ground this old six foot five Irish back alley brawler occupied. My fondest memory was bailing him out in his late 70s when some young upstart insulted his dog while out walking and wound up losing two teeth for his troubles, loved that man..............

Cathedral Of Light

In the early years circa 1920s, 30s,40s, Yosemite National Park was a sublime destination for nature lovers, fly fishers, bird watchers, photographers etc. Those A list outdoor types, Clark Gable, Robert Stack ( world champion skeet shooter married to cereal heir Dina Merrill), Spencer Tracey, Errol Flynn ( Irish ladies man, rogue infamous Bar brawler ) cavorted in Yosemite’s many rivers, streams, majestic mountains, mighty Merced River. This fly fishy tale begins around 7pm at a men’s private Bar hosted by MGM promoting their latest wanna be block buster. A highly agitated red faced slightly belligerent Spencer Tracy just dropped his shot glass and shattered the calm, “Dam it, they don’t make glass like the used to hey Jimmy?” “ No Sir Mr. Tracy. Sir, I have a note from Ms. Hepburn.” “ Dear Spence, Afraid my fly fishing lesson will be running late! It appears my instructor Mr. Botar firmly insists we witness an early evening Mosquito Hatch while dining on Elk steaks and single malts .... Its all for the sport sweety, I’ll try to disengage around Sunset. Miss you. Kate.”

“ Who the Hell is this Botar fly fishing teacher character preying on innocent movie starlets like some kind of back country Svengali casting, couch, flyrod whatever he’s wielding in my gal’s face Jimmy?”!

“ Oh no Sir, if I might. Mr. Botar is an expert in these matters and has taught many famous how to fly fish. Brings them here for dinner. He knows you’re here waiting and will be ambling in soon, can’t miss that man. Six feet five all grey hair and teeth, you can’t miss him or his laugh!”

“ Give me a double Scotch no rocks beer back. So where the Hell are they, its been another hour and the Sun has set?”

Jimmy “ B “ The Fly Master?

Moving like a ten year old scarred alley cat who knows his way around trout, woman, fly rods, Irish Single Malts.With a tongue quicker then his fists which had been tested more times then he could count. Jimmy Botar was nearing mid forties all wavy grey hair and lanky six feet plus.He was often witnessed dragging a wiggling stringer Rainbows taken just across Main Street in front of small crowd of fly fishers who file in behind him to buy his deep diving nymphs by the dozen for serious dollars! His prowess with fly tying and small streams was legendary. He was known to spend months going from river to stream to creek tying catching having lunch with that big fat wiggling stringer in a bucket of water next to him selling enough flies to pay his way for years.

“ Botar is that you man, confounded where the devil have you and my gal been, its after 8pm Sir and the Sun has long lost its glow!”

“ You must be Tracy her Bow, Hollywood actor are ya. Fly fishing ain’t like Hollywood, we don’t have a shooting schedule or any kind of time line I’m afraid Spence. You’ll just have to try and grasp this outdoor philosophy your gal seems tuned into to.”

“ Lets have a drink Sir, water under the bridge all that rot the English spew nobly! Dam hard for dumb ass drunken Irishmen to be noble. Now I have some experience with fly rods and wing shooting with my pals Robert Stack and Errol Flynn.”

Kate Hepburn enters cheeks flushed trousers perfectly tailored looking awfully up beat and fresh...

“ Boys I see the old Glenlivet is being drowned in branch water, I could drink panther piss sifted through my own panties.”

“ Has a mouth on her hey Botar, Dam if all the wannabe starlets were this charming I would have saved my liver several rivers of single malt!”

“ Show Spence some of those flies you threw together Bow, I love the bright red feathery ones. How many woman want to make jewelry out of these little insect replica’s?”

“ Well, guess Hen’s see dam near everything different then Rooster’s Mam...”

“ Love that, love that! See Spence that’s why woman folk hang around with Bow, he speaks like old Tennessee Williams wish’s he could write on a good night hey Irishmen?”

“ No argument from me on that score except maybe if he is a might one dimensional right Mr. Botar?”

“ Man must know his limitations might just be another pathetic timid white man myth, excuse for not getting the ball over the goal post. Time for my supper, see you in the morning around ten for your casting lesson Miss. Hepburn nice to meet you Tracy welcome to come along in the morning fine tune your own swing if you like.”

Lake Tenya one of the many majestic often placid lakes perfect for teaching fly casting on windless mornings . Jimmy “ B” was known to provide a classic French country breakfast with Cinnamon Brandy Souffles, three kinds of scones, fresh butter, wild flower jams, tea and fresh brewed coffee were served on Jimmy’s antique white porcelain tea service. Individual silver trays and fresh flowers never failed to impress, Brandy, Single Malts and whiskey got the blood flowing before casting lessons. Females were his only students as Jimmy firmly believed only woman could truly master and understand the finer poetic aspects of fly fishing at the upper reaches of esoterica becoming one with the natural order...

“ This souffle is splendid Jimmy, my favorite black tea and fresh flowers. Very nice! Will you show again slowly how to tie “ Yellow Trouble”.

“ No problem, lets wait a bit for the Sun to warm. Where is your Hollywood actor fella?’

“ Phone attached to his ear, was kinda anxious about too much time with the fly fishing instructor”

“ Fella can’t be too careful these days. Lets tie a few flies for the morning. After casting lesson’s a steady mosquito hatch welcomes every morning on this lake. Dry fly work will be good for your casting practice.”

Jimmy quickly moves behind Kate reaching around her waist controlling her swing as the line moves off the ground and takes to the air. An angry red faced obviously drunk Tracy is watched stumbling across the beach toward his gal!

“ Good Lord Man, if you two were any closer you would both be wearing that terribly tight sweater!”

“ Have some of that divine Souffle Spence, think I’m actually getting the hang of this fly casting thing.”

“ Looks like someone is getting the hang of something for sure. Where is that Dam flask, there we go little hair of the Irish dog that bit ought do the trick. How about a nip for you Botar?”

“ Too early for this Irishmen, have a long canoe trip do begin this morning after lunch. Looks like you been burning the candle at both ends Tracy. Your obviously out of shape, packing a beer gut and short of breath Sir. If I were you a complete check up followed by long walks and short runs will get that Irish body working for you instead of against you movie actor.

One more thing before we adjourn. Don’t ever speak to a man like me the way you have in the last two days Hollywood actor! I would not hesitate to give you a Boxing lesson old man, good luck and please pick up all your trash before leaving the lake area, Kate no charge for this morning best of luck.

Yellow Trouble