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The Biggest Bass Never Caught

Recently, the wife and I had the opportunity to take a fishing trip down the Wisconsin River. We'd been doing ok- a few here, a few there your basic river fishing morning, until it happened. We noticed a Pinion tree that seemed to have been struck by lightning near its base leaving it half in the water and its trunk on the sandy shore. I noticed at the shore just under the trunk of the tree the fanning tail of what appeared to be a very large Bass. Immediately, I told my wife if you want to catch a big one, cast your lure onto the shore along the tree and slowly pull it into the water and that bass will nab it, be careful you don't want to spook it. So she did. Repeatedly, with no luck. "Try a different lure," I said. She did over and over-nothing, the Bass was just sitting there. Now being the expert I am, I said "Let me have a go at it". Over and over I tried-nothing. That fish was driving us both nuts- couldn't get it to bite on anything.

Out of nowhere a midsize Grey Squirrel appeared on the base of the tree trunk, it had noticed a Pinion nut on one of the branches of the tree about two feet above the water. With its hind legs grasping the trunk of the tree, it leaned forward with its front paws to grab the nut, as soon as its front paws touched that nut the biggest bass I have ever seen in my lifetime blew up, jumped completely out of the water and engulfed that squirrel. Comparatively it looked like a full-grown Musky nabbing a May Fly. We both fell to our seats looking at each other with our jaws on the floor of the boat thinking what the #$%^ was that! We had never seen a bass so large and capable of doing such a deed. My wife and I both agreed that was the most amazing thing we'd ever seen! Or so we thought. We had been sitting there talking about the enormous size and the astonishing feat of that fish when all of a sudden that same bass came out of the water and placed another Pinion nut on that branch.

Current Joke Rating: 7.71 with 100 votes
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mom | Posted: June 9, 2008

i saw a fish

jose arteaga | Posted: May 9, 2007


Kayla | Posted: May 4, 2007

not that great

Tristian pierce | Posted: April 3, 2006

two thumbs up

tater salad | Posted: November 8, 2005

Im going to think twice next time about taking my little sister fishing with me

bobber magill | Posted: June 24, 2005

first time I heard this one I laughed so hard my diaper fell off.

Casey | Posted: April 25, 2005

Like a good fish story should be. Suckered right in until the end!

Jeff Doney | Posted: October 3, 2003

B/C you would never think that a fish would eat a squirel, the joke is therefore the funniest joke ever!