DREAM FLY CHRISTMAS

Those semi lunatic fly fishers who dream and breathe fly-fishing adventures 24/7 are a fixated peculiar breed indeed! If your fortunate enough to have one or two of these ethereal creatures residing in your domicile? I have concocted ten suggestions geared toward making this holiday season one to truly remember…

1. If you have already budgeted say $300 smackers for your fly fisher, why not quadruple that amount and send your little bug thrower on a fly trip in your honor?

2. Ok, now if your fly fisher already has all the gadgets, bells and whistles, yet something is still missing? Perhaps you might invest in the services of a Personal Fly Fisher Companion? Many agencies in Sweden and North America provide eager young novice fly students, usually woman who can help older fly fishers sort out all the boring details one needs to overcome to make a fly adventure more pleasing. Contact me at my E-Mail address for details.

3. If per chance your bug thrower must endure the indignity of driving that pathetic old gas hog of a wreck down to his or her favorite waters? Here is a wonderful opportunity to show your loyalty and love. Take out that 3rd mortgage and buy a fully loaded shiny green SUV. Think about all the pleasure you will derive from such an unselfish act?

4. Loved ones who really care about their fly fishers love to go the extra mile and rearrange the family schedule to accommodate fly-fishing adventures worldwide.

5. Have you thought about adding another room or wing to your home as to allow your fly fisher a more comfortable fly tying/storage room. What a splendid way to show you care by going the extra mile! The left over cash from that 3rd mortgage ought to do the trick.

6. One of the best ways to show your fly fisher serious love is to keep an eye on local estate sales. That rare Bamboo 3 -piece traveler may be collecting dust in some garage waiting for you to liberate it, oh yeah, going the extra distance will make you feel so good…

7. When was the last time you put your arm around your fly fisher and said “ Sweetheart, I know how much this sport means to you. That is why I have taken on extra work as to allow you more free time to pursue that which you love!”

8. Many families selfishly plan vacations without considering possible fly fishing opportunities. Why not start next years plans with lingering bliss filled hours of fly fishing built into both coming and going to wherever the family vacations?

9. Think carefully, when was the last time you asked your fly fisher “ Honey, what can I and the family do to make your sport more enjoyable?” Why not set the tone each week with an extended trip to as many local fly oriented stores as possible?

10. Last and by no means least, if you’re still not sure how to behave and respond to your fly fishers needs? Many progressive communities have fly fisher spouse/significant other support groups. Now you can perfect your fly fisher management skills with the help of more experienced mates. Now your ready to reap the rewards of associating with a happy contented bug tosser, go in peace my friends.

2002 FLY ADVENTURE RECAP

The United States has been through an unbelievable ordeal this year to say the least. Myself and other maniac fly fishers have not let the current chaos affect our travel plans other then longer airport waits. Now more then ever peaceful pursuits like ours feel more necessary as the civilized world strives to sort this mess out. I have traveled far and wide in pursuit of quality waters including the HOh Rainforest in Washington State where Bill Sperry and Gordy Gracey were excellent hosts. I love that splendid green sportsmen’s paradise. The Infamous Wilson Brothers John & Dave in Lake Marie Alaska were the best in putting me on countless serious game fish from Chums to Silver Salmon. Lake Marie Alaska an honest world-class operation on every level. Cindy Garrison’s ongoing Botswana Africa fly adventures have set a new benchmark for the sport.

In the next year Cindy and I will work together to continue creating a unique fly-fishing experience. I will work many sports shows with Cindy. Cindy and I have also created an event deemed “ Cindy & Dan’s Single Fly Celebrity Invitational Pro Am “ to be held in the summer of 2003. More details to follow as this develops. The proceeds of this event will benefit woman’s breast cancer charities.

The ongoing fly fiction serial “ Adventures Of Fletcher Quill “ has been too much fun to write and conjure more off the wall escapades for Quill and his little buddy Timba. Stay tuned as these two find themselves chest deep in chaos. This years blessing’s include the arrival of the famed San Francisco Cartoonist Phil Frank as illustrator for the Fletcher Quill fiction. I’m humbled to have such a highly respected artist join Quill and Timba on their insane adventures. Not a bad year all in all, a year full of many extended periods wading the cleanest productive waters I could find. The time spent up at Dunsmuir sampling that now regenerated trophy class fishery was heart tugging. The story “ Return To The River Of Tears “ has a happy ending as that area has made serious strides toward reclaiming its former glory! My favorite haunts like the mighty Merced River running out of Yosemite and the upper reaches of both the Carson and American Rivers produced unforgettable mornings catching and releasing 15 plus trout. I humbly thank the fly gods for their continued blessings. I thank all of you loyal fans of this monthly column and wish you and your families the very best holiday happiness.

“ ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL “
Illustrated by San Francisco Chronicle Cartoonist Phil Frank, Creator of “ Farley “.

Fletcher and V.P. Slick Brainy are strapped into the stern of the Egis Class Destroyer that leads the 6-ship battle group accompanying the V.P. on his trip to “Ravens Haven”. Quill has successfully talked the number two most powerful man on the planet into activating the ships sophisticated deep sea sonar in hopes of locating schools of giant mutant salmon just off the Irish Coast. They are both holding special deep fly trolling rigs with about 1000 feet of line dropped right on the 100 pound noses of these rarely seen behemoths. They sit in front of the sophisticated Plasma video screens complete with actual under water noise fed through a three thousand watts digital sound system. This wild mega deep sea electronic fly fisher dream set up was the VP’s idea designed to impress Quill just in case he wanted to do a bit of trolling…

“ Fletch, what’s up with that girlfriend of yours, we have unconfirmed reports she is cultivating a mess of giant, once extinct Dino type carnivore birds on a deserted island?” “ That’s only the half of it, Her and her goofy gal pals are planning to use those little meat eaters to bribe rogue governments into towing the ecological line.” Yeah, we been watching her very carefully and I must admit she may have something we might want to use at some point. The Cowboy and I feel letting her complete the experiment could help the cause of world peace at some distant point.” “ Look, is that the same jet black slightly, beat up Raven that was holding court with Timba this last week?” “ Yeah, kind of looks like him, don’t it, very weird this bird!” Ok Quill, I have the final list of Middle East peace negotiators we will host on the fly trip. Before I go over the list, it seems almost everyone wants Cindy Garrison to be their guide up at Spent Peacewoods Fall River spread. Hate to hurt your feelings old buddy, but she is the bomb as the kids say.” “ Yeah, yeah, Cindy is the bomb. So what about the diplomat list? Who are these Middle East fly throwers?

“ Israeli national hero and I hear a pretty fair deep nympher Sabba Begone and on the opposing team fresh from his bombed-out compound and ready for peace and quiet Lasher Snaracat. Fletch, each of these men have tried on many occasions to arrive at an agreement that would not fall a part quicker than United Airlines stock drops daily! We’ll set up conference calls to reassure both sides in respect to security up at Peacewoods place.” “ What the, man I just got the biggest hit on this deep fly rig and… Oh yeah! Here we go!” Quill has hooked into a mega strong King Salmon mutant and the destroyer captain is now following the exploding line screaming off the custom reel. “ Hold on, Quill. I got to get the photo team down here for this, excellent publicity, don’t lose the damn thing!”

Fletcher plays the big King and begins to move him in closer to the ship. “ Quill, I have some sad news that came over the wire this morning. Harriet Doerr, that late in life novelist you used to hang with has passed at 92. I hear her total output was only about 600 words, yet she was very highly thought of.” “ Yeah. I heard that this morning myself, great wordsmith she was, a careful metaphor slinger with real style…”

RECORD 150 POUND MUTANT KING SALMON CAUGHT & RELEASED

Quill slowly raises the huge King as the Egis crewmembers circle and capture the event on film. “ Damn, Fletcher that has to be some kind of world record! I can’t believe Kings exist over 150 pounds and we never heard of them!” “ One of the reasons I chose the Northern tip of Ireland and this great old castle is the existence of these mutated beasts. I could never figure how to get deep enough until you and your personal navy showed up” “ Wait till the Cowboy hears about this, perfect timing, can’t buy this kind of publicity. We’re a little worried about two of the guides you chose, Jive Boy and what’s his name, Red Rocker? This Jive Boy character has a checkered past, to say the least, and the Rocker guy is a known pot head who hangs out with that maniac Tommy lee.” “ Hold your horses, I trust both these with my life. In fact, Jive Boy may be better connected then I’ m as far as fly-fishing goes and the girls love him. The red Rocker aka “ Sammy Quasar “ will make this peace fly trip a trip no one will forget. His ability to bring diverse groups together is uncanny. He runs this nightclub down Cabo San Lucas way called Cabo Wabo, every bug thrower worth his salt has hoisted a few of Sammy’s world famous “ Tequila Bombs” buddy. I mean sir, ah.” “ Quill we have first hand straight skinny you were also in touch with that madman lead guitar player from the Rollin Bones, Keith Snickers. Thank god his schedule is busy, something about his place in Kingston town?”

“ Alright maybe old Keith is not exactly a proper date for the Bush twins, but that boy can fly fish better with more delicacy than Oprah commands at the grocery store!” Fletcher, no one in the White House could possibly understand you better then I. It has been a supreme pleasure hanging out at Raven’s Haven with you and Timba the last two weeks. Now after watching you play that humungous mutant king and listening to all the tales, I get the picture. Through some sort of distorted time, space black hole portal, you have managed to evade all the rules and do as you please. My hat’s off to you, Quill, this incredible castle way off the beaten path, your semi legal lucrative rare fly business. The monthly fly column and now International Peace keeper/fly fisher/adventurer? Not a bad world you carved for yourself, not bad at all.”

“ The Cowboy and I were sitting around the front porch at his Texas Ranch before arrived here and I remember him looking out at the vast dusty nothingness and sharing this thought with me” You know ,one of the best things about this job has to be all the true American characters I have met! That 81 year old that just passed in Highland Park, Michigan, Matel Dawson was his name, known as “ The Frugal Philanthropist”. He was the son of a groundskeeper and he himself worked for Ford Motors as a lowly forklift operator. The guy gave away a small fortune to charities in his life and left the world a better place. What a character, reminds me of this Fletcher Quill hombre, he walks his own walk with that fly rod under his arm. How the hell can a simple fly fisher get into so much top secret drama?”

(Next month, the gala pre peace flies trip gala VIP dinner)